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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Waking Dream

So... not going to lie... it's been hard on me this last month or so. Feeling pretty much useless for all that time starts to get to ya. but i'm hard on the job hunt. so hopefully i'll get something better soon.

my guitar helps a bit. it gives me something productive to do, something that's bettering self, you know? and i really don't know very much, just basic chords and musical instinct. but lately i've been wanting to play something. and then the other day, when i was having a hard time, i just started writing. and i wrote a song.
it's not complete. and probably never will be, but it's something that just helps me. something that gives me a chance to remember why i'm here, even when i don't understand. it's just about me being caught between what my dreams used to be, and what my life is now. and since i'm pretty sure no one reads this blog with any level of dedication... i'll share it here, if for no other reason than i'll probably lose the pieces of paper i have the words written on. so... here goes.

Waking Dream

Had a dream that I would be
Somewhere far away--across the sea
Somewhere no one knew my face
I'd find my place.
But chasing dreams is over now
gotta sit down and figure how

to find my Waking Dream.

Cuz even though it's hard on me
I know i'm where i'm meant to be
no more spotlight in my mind
just here with what i left behind
but if i stumble half-asleep
do you think i'll find

My Waking Dream?

So I guess i'll stay a while
Keep me warm, i'll help you smile.
i know you're scared when i sigh
Afraid that you've made me cry
It's a long winter ahead
just remember i never said

I found my Waking Dream.

Cuz even though it's hard on me
I know i'm where i'm meant to be
no more spotlight in my mind
Just here with what i left behind
but if i stumble half-asleep
do you think i'll find

My Waking Dream?

Since i learned what hearts are for
I gave you all... and then some more
And all the rainbows i've outgrown
are just shadows in our home.
What's left of what i thought i'd be
its the ruins that will help me

To find my Waking Dream

Cuz even though it's hard on me
i know i'm where i'm meant to be
no more spotlight in my mind
Just here with what i meant to leave behind
but if i stumble half-asleep
maybe--maybe i will find

my Waking Dream.

So there you have it...
just a few clarifications: if you leave a comment lecturing me on how i need to buck up, or accept my situation, or even if i only do one tiny thing productive a day that should be enough... i might hate you. seriously. that's the last thing i need.
where i am right now is: this is hard, but i'm trying to make it better. so either cheer me on or try to understand the wisdom in my pathetic little song. seriously.

That is all.

Monday, September 26, 2011

keep movin' along

So, Scott went in and raised a mild ruckus and now (hopefully) we've got the money thing figured out and (hopefully) we will have it soon! so that's good news :D

other than that, nothing much has really happened thats groundbreaking. Scott got an A on his first math exam (but that's no surprise because he's so smart!) and he's got another test tomorrow but he'll ace that one no problem. he's enjoying his TA job, which is great! i always wished i had been a TA. but i loved my Techie job so much i couldn't give it up! but hey, it's not over yet. i could totally still be a TA when i do my post bac program at UW. i would say during my masters program too, but i'm really not so sure trying to work while earning an MS is a good idea... probably not. especially after seeing my mom go through grad school. yeah... probably won't be working through that.
speaking of working... i quit my job. i'm still working this week but not next. i quit my job because i hated it. so i'm job hunting again! yay! we don't need me to be working desperately, so that's why it was OK to quit without any solid other prospects. i've applied to be a Teller at a few banks in the area, so i'm hoping to hear from them soon! that would be a LOT better. definitely. i'm just so glad scott has supported me in all this. he doesn't want me coming home from work crying anymore than i do. he's so sweet. it really is just so nice to come home to someone who just genuinely wants to take care of you. that really is the best. i'm very lucky.
moving on from the mushy-gushy...
we had Corinne (scott's sister) and her family over last night! we had to fix a few things to make it "childproof" for our nephews, but overall it was so fun! our hometeacher has a peach tree so he brought a bag full of peaches to us! and we made peach cobbler! YUM! and we had lasagna too! yum. i like cooking. sometimes it seems like the only thing i can do right.
you know, like when you're having a bad day and you just want SOMETHING to go right? well when that happens, i go home and cook. because that's something that goes right. you just put it all together and heat it up and voila. there you have it. I do it more for the creation than for the eating. but the eating is definitely a perk.
anyway so life is good! we're moving right a long.
i helped my friend Seth move today, which was AWESOME because i haven't gotten a chance to really use my muscles in a really long time! it was awesome. their new place is really great! so excited for them to have a new home where they can have their new baby! i'm so jealous of their new kitchen! they have a dishwasher! hahahaha. but i'm also super tired and super sore. but that's awesome because i totally earned it :D
anyway! ta-ta for now!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

what's life without a few curveballs?

personally i prefer knuckleballs, but that's another story

anyway. things have been going very nicely. and they still are, in all honesty, it's just a few things bubbling up that are annoying. first and foremost being that BYU financial offices have bamboozled Scott and I out of 2 grand.
so let me relay the story a bit...
So Scott has a Scholarship with the Puget Sound Naval Shipyard. He works for them during the summer, they pay tuition and books during the school year. and when he graduates, he works for them. sweet deal! right?
so the money was sent to BYU wayyyyy back in August, but was sent to the Student Services office (which handles all financial aid, payments, and scholarships). they received it, apparently didn't know what to do with it, and then did nothing. didn't even call. or email. nada. zip.
so when we're driving back down to Utah, school starts in 4 days, Scott calls, apparently there's been a problem, they have no record of it. okay. so get to calling offices again. Student services says to call Records. We Call Records. The representative at the Shipyard sends it to Records. and records sends back a paper saying that "Scott Eric Daly" doesn't attend school at BYU. Problem: Scott's middle name is EVAN.
so another week goes by. Shipyard calls, asking what's g0ing on... we make the calls again, get Records office involved again, and it all gets very quiet.
and apparently it disappears again.
all the while, Scott had applied for a Pell Grant, which he got! which is awesome because that money was going to pay our rent. all of it. for the next 8 MONTHS. but, since BYU is so slow, that money got to BYU and they automatically used it to pay Scott's tuition, which had not been paid up to this point. and then the rest of the money was refunded back to us via check.
and so a few days ago, the shipyard calls again, saying that Scott is the ONLY co-op that hasn't used the money yet and what's taking so long? he explains the situation, turns out the lady that was helping him at the shipyard before is on leave (since this all should've been taken care of in AUGUST) so still trying to track down whatever contact BYU EVER had with the shipyard.
and so here lies the problem. The shipyard will only pay tuition and books that are due. Tuition is past due and on Scott's account, it says it's been paid. The money the Shipyard supplies will pay for books, and possibly the Independent study class that Scott has signed up for, but not for tuition that's already been paid. in other words, because BYU was so slow that the Federal money got in before the Private Scholarship money did (which is unheard of...) the shipyard will only pay for the balance due. which means that that rent money, that 2 grand that were were going to use to actually, you know, live on, won't be awarded to us.
so let me sum up... BYU. IS. FREAKING. STUPID.
and i can say that because i'm an alumna.
and this is not just a once-in-a-lifetime problem. when i was applying for BYU, they lost my Ecclesiastical endorsement 3 TIMES. and now they've lost shipyard money 3 TIMES. i guess the fourth time is the charm at BYU. but you think an institution that deals with scholarships, payments, loans, debt management, and paperwork EVERY DAY would be better at this. especially considering all the other people on the same program from the shipyard not having a problem.
oh and did i mention when we called the records office the other day to see what in the HECK was going on, they referred us to student services?? everyone is passing the buck, apparently they don't want my husband to get an education. or something. seriously byu? seriously?

so scott's going over to the office today to basically say "you suck and skrewed me out of $2200. i want it and i want it now." honestly i don't see anything wrong with that. if we owed BYU 2 grand, they'd be breathing down our necks and would kick scott out of school until we paid. if we owed the IRS 2 grand, they'd send guys with guns after us to make us pay. we're not helpless and we're not taking this. we need that money and by golly we'd better get it.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Blessings... Blessings...

I'll be the first person to admit that life isn't easy. But it certainly is easier when you're on God's team. Really. Scott and I have seen so many blessings in the month that we've been married. It really is phenomenal. I think most of all, my testimony of Prayer has increased dramatically. We'd kneel together in prayer concerning something and within days it was resolved. incredible! and these are things that we couldn't really fix ourselves, as much as we tried.

for example, I needed a job. I went to Sunflower market to buy some herbs and just asked at the register if they were hiring. they were. I was basically hired on the spot. Scott was weighted down a little bit because one of his classes he had was really heavy on readings. finally, we figured out that he could drop that class and sign up for independent study for another class he needed and it wouldn't set him off track. his load is a bit lighter and he can manage school and his TA job better now. We needed to sell my car, and it didn't seem like anyone was biting, although we had it posted on Craigslist and KSL. it is a good little car, and i didn't understand how no one wanted it. but finally, just a few days ago, a woman called and bought the car. fantastic! and most recently, my job at the grocery store has been driving me insane. i don't enjoy it at all. so i applied for another job and was responded to right away. i hope i get hired for this job, it would be better pay, better hours, and a better job.
these are all things we've prayed about and all blessings we've received. it really is amazing.
you know, watching my brothers get married i had a few expectations about what engaged and newly wed life was going to be like. i thought that all engaged couples weren't 'allowed' to have friends of the opposite sex anymore and that all married couples only were friends with other 'married' couples, or engaged ones. i also thought that once married, financial security and independence went out the window. that was something i was honestly nervous about. but you know what? life is what you make of it.
i still have friends and so does Scott. friends both married and single. and scott and i are amazingly financially secure, especially since we sold my car. it truly is amazing! if i hadn't gone to Ecuador for the summer for study abroad and spent 5K... we'd be ROLLING in it. we'd have too much, i think. but with us both working, all the gift cards, plus what we've saved, everything will be as it should be. it's sort of like that song,
"I don't have much cash on hand, my bank account is small, but tell me what are riches but contentment after all, other folks might think i'm poor but i know it's not so, cuz when i count my blessings i'm the richest man i know."

Sunday, September 11, 2011

aaaannnd we're back...

so, as you know. I got married! yay!

we were married on august 16, 2011 in the Washington DC LDS Temple. it was absolutely perfect. everything really was. we were very blessed with good weather, excellent food, and no drama. it was amazing.
then we were off to our honeymoon in San Diego, CA. Scott's sister was very kind and let us borrow her car. so we flew to Las Vegas, picked up the car, and drove 4.5 hours to San Diego. we had the perfect place to stay. scott found a studio apartment that was just off the highway and about 10 minutes to SeaWorld. it was amazing. we had a murphy bed and a kitchenette. it was a lot of fun to be able to cook again. but we also ate at some pretty fantastic restaurants.
we spent six days there, going to Lego Land, Sea World, the San Diego Zoo, and the San Diego Temple. it was amazing. and the best (and only) vacation i've had since i was a sophomore in high school. i guess i don't vacation much.
so then we were back to Bremerton for our reception there, which was absolutely GORGEOUS! loved it!! then we were driving back down to provo to move into our new apartment!
It took a few days to get everything in order, but we finally did! and it's amazing! we have couches and a dresser from my grandpa, a brand new bed that we got a deal on through my brother, an amazing new HDTV hooked up to my stereo, lots of amazing kitchen stuff, a bookshelf, and lots of decorations. i love it! it's perfect for the two of us.
scott started school and i started looking around for stuff to do. quickly i landed a job at a local grocery store as a cashier. i'm basically over qualified (like HUGELY over qualified) for the job, but it's something to do and even though i don't enjoy it very much i'm grateful for it. but i'm still looking for something better.
i also LEGALLY changed my name to Daly. so i'm official now! and i got my diploma in the mail! yahoo!
but now we're back... back to the real world. i have work and scott has school and his TA job. and we do the best we can. we're doing great. sometimes it's hard because we don't see each other all day because he gets up before i do and i come home late at night when all we can do is collapse on the bed and fall asleep. but we're managing. i hope my next job i can find is somewhere that isn't open until 11pm. that would be good.
but we're falling into a routine now. we say prayers and read scriptures in the mornings, and we read Harry Potter before we go to bed. :D it's pretty awesome.
all in all, married life is awesome. i'm so lucky to be with my best friend all the time. i'll spare you the mushy-gushy stuff, as well as the details about the wedding. you can ask for them if you like, but i don't think they need to be posted here. be it sufficient to say that i am happy that i chose to marry Scott. and i always will be.